“Beneath the Surface” 36" x 24"

This painting has a whiter/brighter appearance than the photo shows! “Beneath the Surface” was one of the first paintings I completed after I was paralyzed. I gave it that title because in the moment it portrayed how I felt…like I was drifting deep underwater and could only look up to where the sunlight was refracting through the surface…where I wanted to be. I’m sure many of you have found yourself feeling a similar way, like you are. just adrift emotionally and psychologically after going through something so profoundly traumatic that your heart and soul and mind just constrict and shrink into a fetal-like protective position. Your chest is tight, your next breath doesn’t want to come, and you can’t move no matter how much you try or want to, you’re just…paralyzed and in shock on many levels. However, I am stubborn, I’m a fighter, and I wanted to breathe again and live and reach for that radiant warmth of the light. With what seemed like minuscule efforts I began to unfold and start to reach out instead of in, to look up instead of down and found my way out of that vacuum, that nothingness and I rose up.

Up to that point I had felt defeated, a failure, inadequate and humiliated. But…I pushed myself to look at other people in their eyes, smile, ask them how they are doing or to wish them a good day. I began to look for ways I could help other people, especially people who had gone through something like myself and ways I could be productive and still contribute to society. While I’m still in a wheelchair and have limits to my physical body, it does not determine my value as a person, and it does not define who I am.

When I painted this, my paints were about fifteen years old. The paint was very thick and I painted it on thick, so it has a lot of texture. I enjoyed creating the progression of colors - from the darkest black and blues all the way up to the yellows and whites. It is also the largest canvas I have painted at 36” across. One of my grandkids turned it upside down and asked which way does it go? Hmmm…It looks cool either way!

This original is currently on display at the Arts Council of Brazos Valley through February 20, 2021 and is for sale. Any proceeds will go directly to constant costs associated with being paralyzed. With a daily caregiver - who is not covered by insurance, medical supplies and equipment, it is a bit expensive to be disabled. Thank you for reading!