Emerging from the Shadows
The name of this painting is "Emergence" and was twenty-one years in the making. I began it while an in-patient at St. Joseph's Rehab in 1999 immediately following the onset of the transverse myelitis which left me a paraplegic. Originally I had no trunk control and had to have a big Velcro wrap around my torso so I could sit upright. I had to have a neck brace to keep my head from lolling over sideways. I only had the use of two fingers and a thumb, my hand was trembling and I barely had the ability to grip the brush or hold my arm up. I couldn't get the paint to blend right and I don't even know why it was dripping, and...I became discouraged. No matter how much I was determined that things would stay the same, that it was just a matter of time before medicine worked and everything healed and I would be on my merry way...the days and weeks and months went by with little improvement.
It was such a frightening, life-altering time. In addition to my wonderful hard-working husband, there were my sweet children who were were 18, 15, 12 and 10. . . and I needed to be there for them and do all the things kids need moms for. . . not just physical things like cleaning, laundry, cooking, but being their safety net when things went wrong, their emotional support and encouragement during times of struggle, their praise and cheering section and their provider of unconditional love. As time went on, I believe the long-term reality of this traumatic event began to set in . . . that I was quite literally knocked flat on my back and could not get up on my on volition, the recognition that I could not be all the things for my kids - and that I was falling short. What happened then was like a fade to black. For a number of years a numbing, dark depression crept in took root in my soul without me even being aware of it.
I have survived. With the grace of God, the unending support of my children, family and friends, and probably a good dose of my own willpower, my never-give-up and find-a-way-to-make-it-work attitude and just plain ol’ stubbornness . . . I have made it through the wilderness and have come out on the other side all that much stronger.
So - the paint dried out on my painting and when I was sent home after 51/2 months in rehab, it went into my closet - for twenty-one years. Last spring, in the midst of the stay-at-home time in 2020, I dug it out and decided I was going to find a way to fix it and complete it. I dusted it off and got to work. I worked around the splotchy paint and the drip lines and reshaped the road. The challenge was to translate and portray the light shining through. I’m proud to say that it was completed in May, 2020.
I grew up in upstate New York and this reminds me of a beautiful garden path with the dappled sunlight that I had visited. From the viewer's perspective it may seem like you are entering the path, but for me - I am "emerging" from the shaded cool darkness of the woods and walking into the warm sunlight. The original painting as well as my others are available for sale.